Manhood: A Diagnosis and A Prescription

America stands on the precipice of destruction—not from foreign terrorists, and not from some natural cataclysm, though both of those may figure in the mix somehow. No, America has been undermined from the inside, from a sort of rot or decay, from maggots eating away at our strength and vitality.

Of course such pronouncements strike most Americans as so much histrionic rhetoric, as end-of-days paranoia typical of the Radical Christian Right. I may as well admit up front that I perceive the world through Christian lenses. Furthermore, my views on many topics might seem radical—even to other Christians.

But the real sticking point is this: is our country really in so much trouble? Far more people believe it so today than did just three years ago. Yet there is still enough news that we are sometimes fooled into believing that we are progressing. We educate more children than probably any society in history; we create technological wonders like space travel and micro-computers; we provide aid and assistance to peoples and places throughout the world, in the form of nation building and humanitarian relief; we are living longer and healthier than we once believed possible; even in the current crisis we enjoy a phenomenal rate of home-ownership and other material comforts.

The Romans, too, were at the peak of their power when that great empire imploded through decadence and debauchery. The Samurai, those once mighty warriors of Japan, descended into laziness, debauchery, and lasciviousness—those typical vices of the idle elite. French high society in the 1600s went the same way, as did the grace and power of the Russians just over a century ago. The mighty Greeks fell, as did the Egyptians and the great Middle Eastern Societies, and before them both were the Babylonians. In fact, very few societies have ever avoided this slide into destruction (a slide in our age which distinguished Judge Robert Bork has described as “Slouching towards Gomorrah”).

Write Your History This Year

Perhaps you’ve had that nagging feeling that you need to record your own or your parents’ stories before it’s too late. For whatever reason, you haven’t done it yet, and the monkey keeps riding on your back.

Periodically I have people tell me of friends or family members who died before they recorded their histories. Too often we don’t value the life stories enough while someone is still present. It’s only when they are ill and incapacitated, or deceased, and the stories are lost forever, that they are properly valued. Then the survivors treasure anything that connects them to their departed loved one.

As you contemplate the things you are going to accomplish this year, why not determine to write your history so far? Here are some ways to get the job done.

Leave a Legacy of Meaning

“Who is going to care?” Have you or someone you know wondered whether your story is worth preserving? Mark Twain said, “There was never yet an uninteresting life. Such a thing is an impossibility. Inside the dullest exterior, there is a drama, a comedy, and a tragedy.”

You have gained much wisdom and experience in your life that can be of great benefit to your family and associates. Your children and grandchildren, along with the many people whose lives you have touched along the way, are proud of you and earnestly want to know the real you. Perhaps they've already been after you to record and preserve your story.

There is an innate desire to know the stories behind the facts of the people we care about. Furthermore, life stories can bring people closer together and mend relationships as individuals understand your motives and deep-seated desires. The lessons you have learned and the joys you have cherished during your life thus far can be of great emotional and practical benefit to your loved ones. Life stories can share wisdom and lessons in engaging ways without seeming to lecture. Just as you have learned from the lives and examples of others who came before you, let your life be a guide, comfort, or inspiration to others who will come after you.

Oprah Winfrey has said, "I urge you to pursue preserving your personal history to allow your children and grandchildren to know who you were as a child and what your hopes and dreams were." A life story is a priceless treasure that will be cherished for generations to come. Sometimes we only know the value of such stories after it is too late and the details are lost to the living. You may have experienced the desire to know more about your parents or ancestors only to be frustrated by a lack of information. Similarly, someone will want to know your story.

Though the task may be daunting, begin now. It’s far better to record something, incomplete and inadequate as it might be, than to leave a void of information.

A New Year for Growth

This time of year everyone's talking about new years resolutions and goals. As a rule, I don't make resolutions. They have a bad reputation. I do set goals for the year, though. It's always a challenge for me to set them in a meaningful, useful way.

You start reading about goal-setting, and pretty soon you become confused. Some gurus say to do it one way and some propose a contradictory method. What really works?